In telling my story, I don’t want to get in the way of other people enjoying or benefitting from AY.
Anyway. Pattabhi Jois sexually assaulted me. And you sent me, and when people were writing statements, and there were photographs in the statements, I was like, I think at one point I was like, “You know, Matthew I can’t read that, it’s got a picture of him.”, Right. Right. In the meal, everyone picks a small package out of a bag. The abuse, in my case, increased incrementally. This is not a sign of character, I mean, it’s a sign of yes, he was sick. “During my stay in Mysuru in 1988, I was amazed by the behaviour of Pattabhi Jois with female students… He was interested only in female students and did not pay attention to male students, except to those who were staying at least 6 months in Mysuru to study with him. Yoga gurus and teachers, healers, even people who work for social justice are not ‘green flag’ people. It means you have a conscience. Content Warning: Descriptions of the sexual assault, Pattabhi Jois got on top of me in supine postures. We recognize the importance of publicly acknowledging Jois’s decades of assaults. Actually, the answer to the question ‘Why didn’t I leave?’ is: I did leave.
So, just beginning to reflect on what you might need to do during that time was-. Esta actitud omite el hecho de que, aun cuando “solo” agrediera a una mujer una vez, sí la había agredido. Like, now’s the time, I remember you asking me, “Are you sure you want to connect the name Karen Rain with the name Karen Haberman?” And I was like, now’s the time, if I don’t do it now, when do I do it? What is her fucking problem? So that’s one side of that. Furthermore, there are charities and thinktanks and advocates for survivors of institutionalised abuse that have freely available advice for finding well-trodden paths for the safety, healing, and grieving of all concerned. Carrying the torch of “Ashtanga Yoga” does not excuse or justify corruption and complicity. So, if I say cut, cut, if I say I don’t want that in there, I disclose something that just makes me feel too vulnerable, you don’t try to convince me to put it in.
And then you were on stage in front of it, back in the midst of a community that you actively left for you know-. Our secrets make us sick. Okay. I’m sorry that you, and other women had to go through all of this and that I was so close to you and didn’t know nor did I feel what was going on in you. I guess I want to get kind of, as I said, every post, every statement I make, I’m like “Okay this is it.” There is a message I want to get across. Not all abusers are dead. It took many really difficult, painful years and creating a completely distinct life for myself to look at and address the grief, not only of being sexually assaulted but of having the thing I loved the most in the world, Ashtanga Yoga, ruined for me, because that is where the assaults happened. Yeah. I became quite close to his son Manju for a while when he lived in NYC. He did without hesitation. Karen Rain picks it up in this piece. Thanks to all of you who commented on my initial post of M. Remski’s article. You are making it up”. I don’t know. It is a sickness, and a crime. Okay. I mean it was cracking, in my last trip it was really cracking. Thank you to David Rendall for videography and editing, Diane Bruni for hosting us, and Meghan Bruni and Olya Gloria for appearing in the Contact Jam at the end. It will cause you to perpetuate the suffering of those he harmed (including yourself). https://the-rain.fandom.com/wiki/Karen?oldid=1345. Again, I am really sorry that all of this happened and that it damaged you and other women so much. Thank you for breaking the silence and telling your story. I hear no conflict in what Hendry wrote or even an acknowledgement of wrongdoing. So I kind of stopped doing it, and but then I realized maybe I do need to do something at that time, maybe I really do need to reclaim that time for myself, that I’m safe.
And, to that … They’re really lucky that they have lived such a charmed life that they don’t know what spiritual, what all those things, the damage that sexual assault, and sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse can cause. They discuss the abuse and deception that Pattabhi Jois committed on her and others, deflection and denial from those in the community, calling out rape culture, and educating ourselves about power imbalances. Whether he did anything in private or not, he was a sex offender. Este comportamiento sería inexcusable en cualquier otra situación entre docente y estudiante. And then there’s dance, and like you’ve mentioned, contact improv. Yeah I would say again, there’s that split. Now, why didn’t he tell us he was healing us by putting his hands on our vaginas? This inhibits health and accountability. But with the same agreement, that I would keep you informed as to what the process was going to be? We are the experts on this issue and have walked the path of healing that others are still grappling to delineate through these conversations. I sent him a message explaining why those things bother me and requesting that he change them. Por otra parte, cuando estuve en Mysore Amma, la esposa de Jois, aún vivía. We’d also like to offer the following resources, notes, clarifications, and links. But there’s a button to push, and there has to be a moment where there’s a final decision. After all you never meant to harm anyone.
I’m also experiencing the backlash, I avoided by just leaving the community and changing my name, without fanfare. He agreed with me, but you know. I totally agree with you, Karen, that sexual abuse is not about sex. During these visits, I saw Jois give adjustments that placed his genitals against yours, and other women’s, over 100 times (mostly in assisted backbends, Supta Trivikramasana and Yoganidrasana). I’ve suffered from chemical sensitivities, and food sensitivities. There’s no question about it, that’s assault. I lost all respect for him, and stopped telling people to visit Mysore. Karen Rain - "Pattabhi Jois Was Not a Great Yogi", El año en el que el yoga llegó para quedarse.
I want to clarify that people who message me to support me and say I’m helping them, are helping me heal. Right. Right. Because there was a number of conversations, like that initial phone call where I literally called you out of the blue. He’s a yoga guru, he’s 80 years old, like it just … My defences were down as well.
Thank you Paul Gold for being receptive and respectful. Right. Because I was depressed too.
Si fuiste testigo y rehúsas hacer una declaración pública, por favor no me contactes. I’m learning how to speak up and balance taking care of myself.”.
My concern is to protect myself and other victims from further insult and injury and to avoid perpetuating rape culture. I wish that someday victims everywhere can say, ‘This happened to me. In the morning, Karen comes to get them. No, I was like you can come if you want. Women have described being kissed, groped, dry humped, and digitally raped by Jois. There’s also the argument that his touch was healing.
Well see, I said it’s so recent, but if I do wake up hyper alert, I’m going to start trying to reclaim that time for myself. When institutions create a culture where a predator can flourish unafraid and unabated. Wouldn’t we all be losing an opportunity to learn and help prevent abuse from happening again, both within Ashtanga and elsewhere? During that time I did my share of glorifying Pattabhi Jois and recommending studying in Mysore. Besides the story above, I know of at least 5 other students who I injured. The victims of this abuse have shown such extraordinary courage to speak up and share their stories. As if that wasn’t enough, the backlash that I’ve faced since my #MeToo post makes it clear that there’s nothing I or any other victim could have done to have disrupted the most prestigious teachers from enabling of Pattabhi Jois. My hope in entering into the #MeToo conversation is to help create a culture with zero tolerance for sexual assault. I’m unable to respond directly, hence I will respond here. They’re saying that these are not really that big a deal.
The author wrote that people want to figure out if his actions were sexual, what his motivations were. I recently received a very critical comment saying my writing about my experience with Pattabhi Jois is myopic and violent, that I have no ability to see past my own experience, that my story has broken hearts and shattered people’s perceptions of their trusted teacher and guru.
He acknowledges that he can understand why some women wouldn’t be comfortable with Jois’ adjustments but goes on to minimize their significance and even advises against having opinions. When I spun around I saw what looked to me like him grabbing her buttocks and rubbing himself against her while he stood between her legs and she was back arching. There was disassociation, there was denial, there was … Yeah, I mean. I recently found out that she died of breast cancer before she turned 46. Okay, all right. A teacher for 15 years, he is known for his pragmatic
Yeah, I think it’s also something we don’t realize. I minimized it internally and in conversation with fellow Ashtanga students. They discuss the abuse and deception that Pattabhi Jois committed on her and others, deflection and denial from those in the community, calling out rape culture, and educating ourselves about power imbalances. I don’t like repeating these things. Life would’ve been much better for me had that not happened. She said to me, “What you say sounds much too difficult and tiring. Pain is glorified in the book, ‘Guruji.’ That glorification obscures discernment regarding injury, the same way Pattabhi Jois’ status and ‘healing powers’ obscured discernment regarding sexual assault. One problem is that they use the euphemisms “inappropriate adjustment” and “sexual misconduct” to obfuscate sexual abuse, assault or harassment. So it wasn’t about sex for him.”. It’s not respectful.
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